Avgn bible games 3

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Analytics Analytics. Since then, I've actually gotten the game in my possession, so I might as well try it out. I gotta admit, I thought this game would be nothing more than just reading the Bible on a Game Boy. But there actually are a couple of games involved. The Nerd: The first one is a stupid memory game.

All you do is match the words. The Nerd: The other one is just like playing Hangman with sheep. You have to guess the hidden word by choosing the correct letters. If you choose a wrong letter, one of the sheep will hop the fence. If they all get over the fence, you lose.

I'm really stumped. Alright, what's the word? Who the fuck uses a word like that? Of course, they're all ancient words that nobody says anymore in common speech. Well, that's all there is to that. I marvel at this game's shitliness. The Nerd: Of course, you could read the Bible, basically if you want to use your Game Boy as an old-fashioned eBook reader. I wonder how many batteries you'd need to go through the whole thing.

The other thing you can do is search for words in the Bible. For example, we could search for, I don't know, how about the word "ass". The Nerd: nervously Oh-kay I had no idea there would be this many results. The Nerd: Next game, we have something kinda special. It's an unlicensed NES game called 6 In 1.

That's pretty much the title. How creative. Unofficially, it's known as Caltron 6 In 1 , because the company who made it, Caltron , went out of business before they sold off all their games.

The Nerd: Well, another company called Myriad bought their inventory, slapped their own sticker on the front, and started selling them again.

For this reason, the Myriad version is even more rare. Its price in auctions is usually much higher than the Caltron version, even though technically they are both the same exact game. Myriad didn't make any programming changes whatsoever. Even the title screen still says Caltron on it! That sticker on the front, let me tell you, that is one expensive sticker. The Nerd: With that bit of trivia, you're probably wondering what does this have to do with the Bible? Well, there's 6 games on it. All of 'em suck major shit.

And they definitely went for quantity over quality, much like Action 52, although it's not that bad. Honestly, the games aren't horrible. They're just mediocre copycats of other games. The Nerd: It's a 2-player co-op game where you fly around on Out of all the games on this cartridge, this is probably the most original. They sure put a new twist on the story. Instead of Adam and Eve being a man and a woman, they're now asexual twins. Take your guess which is which!

The one with green hair, or the one with red skin? Are they aliens or something? Is that why there's space in the background? The Tree of Life is now apparently a few bamboo sticks crossed together. The Serpent is now a whole army of balloon-flying worms. And there's a bird that lays eggs on you.

What kind of bird lays eggs while it's flying? That's like a human mother running a marathon and just dropping out a baby. The other thought is that it's an egg-shaped piece of shit, but it's from a bird, so it'd usually be white, which would be the color of an egg, but instead it's brown like shit. I don't know what I'm talkin' about. What were they thinking when they came up with this?

I guess they were just trying to be really original. Well, nope. Actually, it's a complete ripoff of Balloon Fight. And if you really want to go back further, Balloon Fight is very similar in gameplay style to Joust, just with balloons instead of So basically, the game has nothing to do with the Bible, so why am I bothering to include it as part of Bible Games?

It sure was a sacrilegious shit-stain on the NES library. The Nerd: But it wasn't enough for Wisdom Tree, no. They had to put out their games on the Sega Genesis console as well. To tell you the truth, these are all games I've reviewed already on NES. Sometimes, the Genesis versions are different, like they were with Action 52, but this is not the case here.

All these games are nearly identical to their 8-bit counterparts. The Nerd: Spiritual Warfare is pretty much the same. You know, that Legend of Zelda clone where drug dealers shoot lasers at you from alleyways.

Since the whole game functions just like Zelda, with item inventory and everything like that, wouldn't it have been nice to use the same save feature? Instead, there's this annoying password system. If you're gonna copy anything from Zelda, have a save feature. And that was on NES, so you'd think with a more advanced console, they'd be able to do that again. The Nerd: Then there's Exodus and Joshua, which were both the same two games anyway, which were both adapted from a game called Crystal Mines.

Not much to reiterate here, just going around blasting giant cheese puffs. Gotta love that classic Baby Moses game. The best part's drowning your own baby and then killing yourself. Isn't that nice? The Nerd: Then of course there's David and Goliath, which might as well just be called David and the Fuckin' Sheep, because that's all you do: carry sheep from one place to the next. Man, who the Hell is able to pick up three sheep and climb a tree? And this may seem like a minor complaint, but when you pause the game, the music keeps going.

I hate games that do that. What if you get a phone call or something? You want it to go quiet. The Nerd: This game is extremely frustrating in its bad control. There's a part where you have to climb a mountain, but no matter how hard you try you keep slipping off the platforms, RRGH! Alright, here we go, UNH! The Nerd: You'd think these are doors, right? Well, guess what? You can't go in. They're just for decoration. So maybe they're miniature monoliths from When you do manage to get to the top, there's nowhere left to go.

You have to take a shitty guess, and jump at thin air. See, there's another platform you're supposed to reach but you'd never know otherwise. It's literally a leap of faith.